I never leave home without saying I love to wife and kids or any family member. I realize there is no guarantee that tomorrow or the next moment you will be alive or they. The idea is that I kill each year over 100 thousand ants. It makes me realize that the number of deaths has little meaning. China and Russia killed millions of their people in the 30s and 40s , and most of the rest of the world just watched. How many dreams were destroyed, how many lives were lost too early from pure evil? Back to my ants, I never really thought about the ant’s deaths until one day, admiring my work seeing balled up in a mass of dead ants, I realized I was responsible for their deaths. It hit me that deaths and numbers have no meaning; in war, we killed one and other times we killed many; the outcome was the same no losted feeling at their deaths as I realized looking at the ants, they had no feelings looking at our dead soldiers. Only after finding love and purpose do we value humans and all other species of life. Not to say we should live with german cockroaches and ants, but we should maybe at least realize in their death some remorse.

Little story;

My mother-in-law’s third or fourth husband had a stray dog come to his house eat up with little to no hair on his body; the dog looked miserable. Her husband knew I had been to Vietnam, so he asked me to take the dog to the woods and shoot it to get it out of its pain. I killed many NVA soldiers in battle; at; first, it was painful for a southern Mississippi boy to get over. As our deaths came to be, my Baptist loves thee enemy was lost. The dog followed me into the woods dutifully; not knowing my plans and intentions, he was next to my leg, tongue out a spark in his eyes of love. I remember taking the pistol out and aiming it at the dog, the year of battles and death came flowing into my mind, the dog now looking me in the eyes as if it realized what I was doing, in an explosion of the weapon hitting the dog not far from where I believed his heart as he falls, the dog lifts it’s head up one last time, his eyes asking me why? I stayed there for a while, never saying to anyone that my tears at killing this dog mean nothing in the world the loss of one dog but as a reminder to me from that moment on how very, very special life is, don’t waste it. GOD BLESS