About 40 years ago, I had my kids and many nephews and nieces playing in the water. I went to the bathroom; as I was sitting on the throne, a Hershey bar filled out of my shirt pocket, I picked it up, and an idea crossed my mind. I went into the kitchen and melted it over the stove’s gas flame and wiped it all over my hand. My oldest son walked into the house about this time; I screamed at him, where are all the kids? He looked at me in bewilderment and said outside. I tell him look at my hand; one of you kids used the tub as a toilet, and I put my hands all in it. He swears quickly he had nothing to do with it at all. And follows me out of the house, restating he had nothing to do with it, maybe one of the girls, maybe. I walk out and tell everyone to come here, look at my hand, someone did something in the tub, who was it. My youngest son and my older daughter started, dad, why didn’t you wash it off? Why are you showing us? I want to know who used the tub? One of my nieces asks what is on your hand? I quickly brought my hand to my mouth and licked it, making a strange face telling her it was sh-t; they all ran into the house as if they were going to throw up.

MY FIRST TRIP TO A HOLY ROLLER CHURCH

My mother-in-law convinced my wife we should go to her church that it was a lot of fun and the preacher is excellent. This church was one of the churches that play with snakes and other critters, so I instantly was against going, I am more of the Southern Baptist Bible type of guy, not one much on different types of churches, but I go.

On arrivil it seems to be a big crowd so I move the family to the very last row of benches almost against the wall just enough room for one person or so to pass behind us. The service starts out OK with some singing and praising but it quickly turned to members speaking tongue. This for a Baptist boy seemed a bit much but it is only one service and off we go never to come back. The preacher askeds everyone to stand before I realized what was going on he wanted us to all get in a line and do the Jericho march around the inside of the building, my kids where not in favor, so we didn’t join into the march. The march became very lively with people jumping and screaming so much so my daughter became scared and came over to her dad. This lasted awhile and my family I could tell were not impressed.

After the march, everything settles down, and the preacher starts preaching fire and brimstone. For some reason, he seems to be talking just to me; he keeps mentioning that someone wants to repent, he can feel it in his bones and soul, and he before the church is over, he will have this person at the alter. He kept making a fist and moving it into his body, looking straight at me; I decided there must be someone behind me,”but didn’t look”. His face became red, and words became louder and louder, his eyes on fire as he is burning a hole through my body, all of a sudden he screams “stand” when he does I turned around to see who was behind me that he could be talking to, at that moment I realize he was indeed talking to me because there was nothing and no one but a wall behind me.

After the service, he seemed not to have much to say to me, but he did shake my hand and invited us back again; I kindly let him know we were more of the standard Baptist; this was a little much for us. I was the only person in the church with a brand new car; when we went to leave, it wouldn’t start; the preacher came to the rescue and mentioned that in the Jerchico march they stamped the devil out of the church right into our battery, never once ever had another problem with the battery, who’s to say not.?