HARMONY ELIZABETH BOYANTON (happy birthday)

The book I am writing for my future grandkids that I will never know is full of war stories and death. My life was full of love and happiness; so many stories I will tell, and this is one of my favorites.

PRELUDE

This is the story of my wife and I adopted our last child, a little girl. This was the only time in my life of raising many kids that the whole job for some time was my own. Diaper changing, holding when sick, putting to bed and taking to daycare, picking up. The many adventures, like buying clothes all the time instead of washing, to all the apparatuses I used to clean a dirty butt, in the tub, made my wife cringe, but they worked. My daughter, never one to sleep in her baby bed, was taught to read; at four years old, I would read a page, and then she would read a page; sometimes, I would try to get her to read two pages, but she never let that happen. We watched and fought over the television remote all the time; one night, we went to sleep, and she had the remote in her hand, holding it at arm’s length away from the bed and me. The time I spent with this little girl was endless, dropping her off one day at the child care in downtown Bay Saint Louis shortly after getting her; she cried so hard when I left my heart was broken. Halfway to my office in New Orleans, I turned around and picked her up, and took her with me. The look in her eyes was a relief, and the hug around my neck was pure love. My day was tough doing business with a baby; most understood those who didn’t, I rescheduled, and all was well. Love conquers all. “ NEVER BE AFRAID TO DO THE RIGHT THING”

Now the Story

At 55, my wife called to tell me her niece abanded her newborn baby and no one in the family was going to take it; no one but the mother had even seen it since birth. I told my wife I wasn’t interested in a newborn baby girl. We were helping our daughter raise her two 11 and 12-year-old sons, and the last thing we needed was a baby girl; I shit canned that idea quickly.

Wives seem to have a way of bringing up the subject to keep it in your mind whether you want to hear it. She was giving me updates on a baby I had no intentions of raising. I started noticing during the day thoughts came across my mind that why not the baby? I shrug them off and go about my business. I came home one night, the baby’s grandmother had sent a tiny picture of the baby, which my wife dutifully showed me AS I walked through the door.

One day driving to Jackson over an issue with my license, thoughts came streaming to my mind about the baby girl and what would happen to her. I had these same feelings in firefights in Vietnam as if I was being led. If you have ever driven between Hattiesburg and Jackson, it is a long and tedious ride by yourself. I realized as it was in war,I was being led to take this baby girl. I often believe I was saved for some bigger purpose in life , maybe my job is to just set the table for her.

I called my wife and told her why didn’t she check and see what it would take to get this little girl. My wife said she was already on it, as if she realized that I would surrender at sometime in the near future and relent.

To get the baby quick, we had to agree to all the expenses and had to pass a background check and fly up to Seattle, Washington (really Everett, Washington) and spend couple days with the baby, and hopefully take her home. All the expenses meant if she was sick, we were responsible for all hospital bills until grown. Another option was The State of Washington would pay us to adopt and provide health care , but it would take 6 month or more. The idea that the baby would spend six months in a foster home was a no-deal, and I had no guarantees with my kids; I needed none with my new girl.(we got her around 6 months old)

We arrived at Everett Washington at the foster mother’s house to see the baby for the first. My wife, myself, and five state people walked into the house as the foster mother brought the baby downstairs. I took the baby and walked outside, leaving everyone staring at me, including my wife. The bushes outside had some giant white flowers. I walked over and put her close to the flowers to smell; she smelled and turned her head and looked me in the eyes; I could feel her thoughts, thinking, I don’t know this man, but I bet I could love him. My reaction was no different than having my wife give birth at that very moment.

My wife and I decided with my temper and choice of words that she would do all the talking with the state when we arrived. This trip hadn’t started on the right foot. To begin with, the night before, we were leaving early. The following day they called us to say we wouldn’t be able to take the baby home with us; it would take a few trips to Washington. I told my wife to ask them to go to hell, but she had already hung up. I decided we wouldn’t waste any more time and money that this was already costing us a pretty penny, and now they are making it even harder. I wake up the following day and tell my wife what the hell with my personality. We will end up with the baby, anyway. Lets go.

The first meeting with the state of Washington people and the lawyer representing my daughter started with a bang. My wife, who was going to do all the talking, was sidelined. I spoke right off the bat. Why would you call us the night before leaving to get the baby and tell us we aren’t taking her home? Robin the lady that headed the department, we think two days isn’t enough time to get to know her, dam lady, I will have a lifetime to get to know her when we are home. Settle down, Mr. Boyanton; we will see how this works out. The lawyer representing my daughter asks how many kids you have. I tell her 3 of my own, and many that came to spend the night and never left. She is a big woman, maybe four hundred pounds, but we hit it off.

Next morning the foster mother from hell. This lady knew I wasn’t her friend and the moment I met her I decided to not leave Washington without my girl. This woman had my daughter going to doctor visits almost every day, (we found out that she was paid handsomely for these trips) We discovered she had the baby in a crib for 14 hours a day because she had many other kids she was watching and didn’t have the time. This woman that looked like a savior for children was void of all love. I went into the kitchen to get glass of water when she told me she decided to keep my daughter, she didn’t say it stright out, but in a matter of words, we were at war.

My new daughter and me fell in love with each other from the moment we met. When i came into the house she would light up and smile holding her arms for me to hold. Not once did she show any afection to the foster mother at anytime we were there or show any sadness when we left. Not once. My poor wife the one that was going to lead the ship was just holding on.

The day before we were to leave for home at 10am the next morning,our final meeting with the state wasn’t good. Mr. Boyanton, can you come back and spend more time? No! I am swamped, and financially this is costing us tons of money. The baby will know us quickly enough, if not already. My daughter’s lawyer decides at this moment in time to speak up. My opinion and I took it to the judge that Mr. and Mrs. Boyanton could take the baby home to Mississippi in the morning, I have a signed court order. I turned and gave her a big hug as the women from the state looked on in horror.

My wife and I bought the baby girl all new clothes for her trip to her home. We arrived at the foster mother’s house at two pm to pick up the baby; she wouldn’t open the door or acknowledge we were on her porch. My wife and I didn’t know, but the foster mother and the state were trying to remove the signed court order and require us to return at some other time. Finally, the husband came home around 7 pm with me on the phone with the Everett police. I tell him the police are coming if she doesn’t give us the baby. He says no word and walks into the house; patients has never been my cup of tea. After 30 or so minutes, we see them stacking all her clothes and belonging in front of the door. Her husband opens the door with the baby in his hands and gives her to me, and I tell my wife to take off all the baby’s clothes, including the diaper. I throw them in the house and kick all the belonging they have stacked at the door across the room. The foster mother screams that the baby will die without all the medicine, I yell back that now is my problem, and we drive away.

The state knew we were to leave a 10 am the next morning but they hadn’t realized I had to get a earlier flight to make a meeting, so we left at 6am. When we arrived at the New Orleans airport we had 16 calls from the state of Washington from the welfare office and the Washington state police. But to our pleasant surprise my new daughter had all of our Mississippi family their in New Orleans with signs and hugs welcoming our newest daughter home, it was hard to hold back the feelings even today. I called the welfare number in the phone and talked to Robin. She tells me that she has filed a complaint against me. I replied i care less, she tells me they were at the airport to stop us from taking our new daughter home. Mr Boyanton you didn’t show good father skills leaving medicine that might cause the baby to die. I informed her my wife worked in the medical field and discovered that none of the medication she was taking was life-threatening. “Our baby never needed the medicine except for some acid reflex.”I furthermore told her that the foster mother was evil. Come to Mississippi if you want to fight , I am home with my daughter.

Couple little stories:

I daughter name is Harmony Elizabeth, my granson Bryan named her that, saying after her bad start in life she needed some Harmony. My other grandson heard me say that I liked the girl name Elizabeth so that is how she got her name. Side story, Harmony named Bryan’s firat child Cirrus.

Harmony was five years old. She asked me a question, daddy why am I dark-complected brown hair and eyes when my brothers and sister are blonde hair and blue eyes? That is simple! When I went to Walmart to order you, I told them I didn’t want blue-eyed blonde hair kid anymore; I wanted something different.

At Harmony’s 16 birthday party, She was a princess, dressed up in a dress that only a ferry-god mother could have designed; it was flawless that fit her like it was made just for her. The smile on her face, as if she was the only girl in the world, was priceless. The court of girls themselves was beautiful and augmented Harmony even more. I was called up to the front and given a glass slipper (or what was to represent one) to kneel and place on her foot; it was an event like I had never seen before, for a birthday. It was held at the Diamondhead country club with all the bells and whistles had numerous people. (my wife never told me how much we spent, even though I asked) My guess is when I ask if it was more or less than 10,000 dollars, all my wife would say was yes!

After my daughter’s birthday party, I was personal messaging a friend about her and how she got her name, and how we ended up with her. I told him she didn’t know yet she was adopted and that I would tell to her someday. He had to go, so I went on my feed on Facebook and wrote a story about something I had read. My friend that had to leave came on my feed and told me he ended up not having to go anywhere, so I finished up the story about Harmony. My wife came into the room screaming everyone was calling her. Was Harmony adopted? Richard had it all over the internet. I was mad at myself for days, and my wife had to handle it. It was good it happened; I doubt I would have ever told her otherwise. She never missed a beat. Her mother and her have become best friends and leaves the daddy out all the time.

She is a senior going to Hancock High and will be going to Mississippi State in the fall; not all love stories turn out this good, and not all parents get a child as terrific as her. Love can add to eternity and never run out. The hand that helped me in war is the same hand that led me to accept my God-given gift, my youngest daughter Harmony.

“THE GREATEST GIFT A FATHER CAN GIVE HIS CHILDREN, IS TO LOVE THE MOTHER”